They’re not candles, they’re people — or at least they represent people.  Each Tuesday evening we have a simple service in our sanctuary.  It begins with 25 minutes of silent prayer and reflection followed by the sharing of Holy Communion.  Each time we gather some folks light candles to represent people and/or situations they are lifting in prayer.  As I started to leave the sanctuary this evening I realized these candles needed to be the photo for this week’s Wednesday Wonderings.  The candles represent people who need light in the darkness and the caring of those who paused and took the time to remember them in prayer.  It’s such a simple, but powerful gesture – lighting a candle of prayer and remembrance for another.

We all need to know we are remembered, that we are carried by someone in their thoughts and prayers.   There are many places in the Bible where the threat of no longer being remembered is cited as a terrible consequence of one’s actions.  Look at the picture above and consider what would happen if the light of remembrance on each candle were to be extinguished.  It’s easy to see that the darkness surrounding the candles would gradually but thoroughly overcome them all.  Emotionally that kind of darkness can be called despair – that awful sense that no one cares.

In the birth of Christ we celebrate how once more after time and time again, God remembers us and holds us in Divine Light.  Is someone lighting a candle for you?  Are you lighting a candle for someone?  It is a precious gift to let someone know you’re remembering them in your thoughts and prayers.  As you continue to reflect on God’s remembrance of us in the birth of Christ and contemplate the new year’s resolutions, consider making a commitment to lighting more candles and letting others know you’re remembering them in your prayers.  I pray that God will help me to remember to remember.  How about you?

Blessings and Peace,
Gary
Pastor, Sand Hill United Methodist Church
Boaz, West Virginia

Boom!  Right in your face!  Forgive me, I know it’s a cannon, actually one from a civil war battlefield.  I offer it not so much because it’s a cannon but rather for the feel of the picture.  Doesn’t it give you sort of an, “in your face” feeling and almost make you want to recoil backwards from it?  You know what I mean, don’t you?  Your moving along in a relationship or situation and then suddenly, almost out of the blue, someone lands the “in your face explosion” and you’re left wondering, “Well now what do I say?”  You can feel the sudden shift in the winds from the rational to the irrational.  That’s why there’s that sense of, “What in the world just happened?” or “How do we move on from here?” or “Well, that’s the end of that effort to communicate…”

I’ve learned to call this sort of posturing the offensive defense.  It’s a very aggressive form of defense, something akin to the bite of an injured dog offered when someone attempts to approach and help.  The “in your face” response in a relationship often arises from a sense of fear on the part of the aggressor.  Once it happens, it leaves us in about the same position as the one trying to help the injured dog — we stop our efforts and reassess whether we can continue or just need to back away.  “In your face” sort of comments and remarks tend to destroy relationships.

I’m convinced that on the day when the chief priests and others met Jesus in the Temple they had already heard enough about him to be frightened.  He was rocking their boat and their world.  When they met him, they weren’t looking to dialogue and build relationship, they were looking to shut him down.  “Who gave you such right” – i.e. – “There, in your face – take that – let’s see you come back from that one!  That’ll shut you down!” — (and then unspoken) “Then we’ll be safe again.”  Fear, when shoved into the face of the other, is always dangerous for the relationship.

From the rest of the dialogue I gather that when Jesus responded it was not in kind.  In other words, he didn’t respond with, “Oh yeah, well here’s one in your face.  Right back at you!”  His more thoughtful response required him to check the visceral emotions that “in your face” arouses in the one verbally slapped, pause for a moment, and respond from the rational instead of the irrational.  In doing so Jesus actually offered the possibility for the chief priests and others to change course and build relationship.  Obviously, they chose not to, but Jesus provided the possibility in the way that he responded.

I find it can be difficult not to respond in kind.  When someone shoves their fear in my face and I recoil, feelings well up and make me want to protect myself.  Sometimes I think it would feel so good to shove that fear right back into their face, but the results would not be pretty, productive, or grace-filled.   It might feel good in the moment, but the results would be disastrous for the relationship.  An “in your face” response on my part certainly would not be loving.  Recognizing what just got shoved in my face ( fear) can help me pause and consider my next move.  Then hopefully I can offer grace and the possibility for relationship to continue.  Hopefully, I can respond to fear with love.

I pray that God will help me avoid shoving my fear into someone’s face, and have the insight and discipline to offer grace when their fear gets shoved into mine.  How about you?

Blessings and Peace,
Gary
Pastor, Sand Hill United Methodist Church
Boaz, West Virginia